I have officially moved - digitally that is. I still feel kind of silly about the whole thing, like I’m leaving my patent-pink Dear Diary complete with bright and shiny and useless little lock conspicuously on the kitchen counter for someone to find and read all of my very deep and meaningful thoughts and see in a flash that I am very cool and worthy of all sorts of praise and friendship. Ah, the complex workings of my pre-adolescent mind.
Anyway, there wasn't much to move. I started a journal here: http://williamloganland.spaces.live.com/ logging my late pregnancy, anticipating my first homebirth and second baby, and the first two weeks of his life. Then life kicked in, William, my two and a half year old, started learning to use the toilet, Jacob started waking up to the world and I went back to work, Jacob in tow.
Jacob is now two and a half months old and a whopping 14+ pounds and William does most of his pottying in the toilet. It’s exciting times over here for sure – My Life in Poop.
And speaking of poop...Jacob pooped all over me yesterday at work. He was on my lap, my lap that was wearing the ONLY jeans that fit me, the jeans that are sadly early maternity jeans, when I heard the tell tale gurgling and instantly felt a warmth on my thighs and heard a literal splashing onto the ground. This mythic saffron poop managed to hit both of my inner thighs, the seat of my chair, a wheel of my chair and then form a puddle that seeped into the seam between two of the concrete blocks making up the floor. And then, as I was standing hunched over, my flabby belly peeking out from under my supposed ‘post-partum tummy concealing’ nursing cami, trying frantically to wipe poop slime off of my legs with my expensive lanolin treated diaper wipes and Jacob cooed and kicked and spread poop all over his fancy designer bassinet and the puddle on the floor congealed, two very nicely dressed women close to my own age came in and asked excitedly, hands to cheeks: “Oooh...is that your baby?”
Supposing that I toss any hope of professionalism out the door at first sound of poop splashing to the ground, how do I at least retain a wee bit of human dignity in a momment like that? Having the distance of twenty four hours, I see that it was so not a big deal. Babies poop and moms clean it up - at home, at work and on the go. But at that moment in the flush of a poop panic, facing my peers who seemed so much more together, in the place where I am supposed to be together and even kind of in charge or at least pretend to be, I felt like a complete mess.
Mess or not, this is the new place to check out what's going on.
Anyway, there wasn't much to move. I started a journal here: http://williamloganland.spaces.live.com/ logging my late pregnancy, anticipating my first homebirth and second baby, and the first two weeks of his life. Then life kicked in, William, my two and a half year old, started learning to use the toilet, Jacob started waking up to the world and I went back to work, Jacob in tow.
Jacob is now two and a half months old and a whopping 14+ pounds and William does most of his pottying in the toilet. It’s exciting times over here for sure – My Life in Poop.
And speaking of poop...Jacob pooped all over me yesterday at work. He was on my lap, my lap that was wearing the ONLY jeans that fit me, the jeans that are sadly early maternity jeans, when I heard the tell tale gurgling and instantly felt a warmth on my thighs and heard a literal splashing onto the ground. This mythic saffron poop managed to hit both of my inner thighs, the seat of my chair, a wheel of my chair and then form a puddle that seeped into the seam between two of the concrete blocks making up the floor. And then, as I was standing hunched over, my flabby belly peeking out from under my supposed ‘post-partum tummy concealing’ nursing cami, trying frantically to wipe poop slime off of my legs with my expensive lanolin treated diaper wipes and Jacob cooed and kicked and spread poop all over his fancy designer bassinet and the puddle on the floor congealed, two very nicely dressed women close to my own age came in and asked excitedly, hands to cheeks: “Oooh...is that your baby?”
Supposing that I toss any hope of professionalism out the door at first sound of poop splashing to the ground, how do I at least retain a wee bit of human dignity in a momment like that? Having the distance of twenty four hours, I see that it was so not a big deal. Babies poop and moms clean it up - at home, at work and on the go. But at that moment in the flush of a poop panic, facing my peers who seemed so much more together, in the place where I am supposed to be together and even kind of in charge or at least pretend to be, I felt like a complete mess.
Mess or not, this is the new place to check out what's going on.
2 comments:
LAUGHING. I love your blogs. I simply must start up again. Although I think yours are much more meaningful. Seriously, you are knee-deep in life's inner workings. I am escaping whatever I'm doing at the moment. Like today. I did make it to the beach at lunch, and I walked along as a seal swam at my pace. Very nice. Until I almost stepped on a beheaded pidgeon. And a dead stingray. Nice.
When I read 'knee-deep in life's inner workings' I only remember jumping over a fence on the dairy and sinking knee-deep into twelve year old cow poo that had crusted over. I know you can picture the scene. :)
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